Musings in Search of a Muse

Why can't I blog while I'm driving home from work? I get out of the car and ::::poof:::: the ideas go away. ::::sigh::::

My review of The Passion of the Christ that I sent to nearly everyone I know:

See it. Don't eat first. Be grateful.

Maybe I'll add more later. Gotta stop crying first.

Peace & Prayers

Honestly, I'm getting tired of people dying around me. A gentleman that I hardly knew passed on last Friday morning. But despite the very tertiary relationship we had I was still quite upset. There was a nice memorial service for him yesterday. I couldn't believe how many people were there.

Maybe I won't have to worry for too long. A TV special on Bible "codes" the other night predicted that the current "roadmap for peace" in Israel is signalling the beginning of the end. After it's signed then there's seven years until the Glorious Appearing. Don't we have to have the Rapture first, though? Well, not if you're Catholic, I guess. I'm pretty confident I'd be called Home in the first round (so to speak), but I'm not sure how I'd handle it if I weren't.

A sure sign it's going to happen is if I win the lottery. I actually played this week. Not sure what the jackpot is ... wait ... let me check ... okay, $26 million. Wouldn't that be nice?

Can't think of too much else to write. Maybe after I visit the little boys room. Nothing like a little inspiration, huh? Peace & Prayers.

Once again my boss was disturbed by my comment that my biggest goal right now is to live long enough to bury my mother. I have no other ambition, really. Sure, there are lots of things that I would like to do or accomplish, but in the grand scheme of things, do any of them really matter? If God wants me to do something, He will let me know. Until then, anything I can think of to do with my life is simply for amusement or to accomplish my goal (see above if you missed it).

Sounds like the goal of a cog in a machine, huh? Just go round and round until the job is done. Only like a cog, I am dispensable. There are people who depend upon me, but I can be replaced. There are people that would miss me or even mourn me, but I have every confidence that they would be able to carry on.

Golly, that does sound depressing. I can see why he finds that disconcerting, but it is true. Very Nihilistic, though not truly so. I do have beliefs and loyalties. And I am not out to destroy things, let alone myself. You might consider that someone with an attitude like mine would be suicidal, but do not worry. That would be a sure way to be denied entrance to our Father's house (Heaven, for those that are less poetic --- and if you are less poetic than me you are in serious trouble).

So what does this all mean? Got me. I was hoping that you would know. Peace & Prayers

November 30th, huh? Cripes! What have I been doing with all the time I haven't been blogging? Let's see: I didn't send any Christmas cards or letters nor did I decorate despite an awesome carved Santa that Mom sent. I seldom see the inside of a school any more. That goes for churches, too. And Lodge rooms. Other than working 10 hours a day, four days a week, it looks like I haven't done much. This translates into very little blogging. Well, actually, no blogging by the looks of things.

A friend wrote to me saying he read the blog. Rather, it was more like "Who is this CC person?" I can only assume he knew it was me. By the way, please mention my friend and his family in your prayers as he lost his father recently and his wife's father just today. With some confidence I can say both men are now in Our Father's House, but I know that is sometimes just a little consolation for those of us who remain.

Ah! That made you think of my comment last November that my faith was foundering. Let me clarify that: Jesus Christ is my personal saviour (and if you accept Him, He will be yours, too), but considerable reading into Masonic history, the history of Christianity in general, basic history, and the Left Behind book series makes me wonder how literally (btw - I really hate that word, metaphorically speaking, of course) we can take any currently printed version of the Bible. No doubt it's a matter of faith in the long run, but I worry about interpreting the Bible too exactly. Maybe that's why I haven't been visiting church. Still thinking about that one. I know I'm a sinner and that I would tend to be more of one if it weren't for God's grace. Enough said. You, too, can have said grace by admitting you are a sinner and asking forgiveness. There are many, many versions of the "sinner's prayer" -- just do a Google search sometime to see some. One of the best I found is based on the ABCs of Salvation: Admit your need, Believe in Christ, & Commit yourself to Christ. Use whatever words you want in whatever language you want because God can see your heart and know you are being true.

Now that my (way) earlier statement about my faith is partly cleared up, let's move on. Since November I've been in a depressed period. My job stinks, though I'm good at it. There's almost no motivation in my life other than simple day-to-day survival. There have been a few bright spots, however. Here's a look at them:

1) Joan of Arcadia - What an awesome TV program. Very well written, acted, and produced. And the messages are spot on. Check it out sometime.

2) Music - Gotta love this iTunes. I bought more memory for my mp3 player but it's not iTunes compatible and I seldom get to use it anyway. Despite this I have been exploring different music genres, finding high quality music, and finding it good for my corporeal being.

3) The Left Behind books - Poorly written but still hard to put aside. I dashed through books 3-11 in no time (essentially reading all last January) and anxiously await the 12th book to be published at the end of March 2004.

4) My new Canon G5 digital camera - What an awesome little thing. It struck me that one of things that made me happiest before I was married and subsequently divorced was photography. Well, not just photography, but photo projects. So rather than spend bunches of money on film I bought a top-line camera and set myself to illustrate the nine fruits of the spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22-23 ("But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."). Now I just have to sell off my old 35mm equipment.

5) Movies - There were some great movies in the theater (Lord of the Rings III, for one) and on DVD (A Mighty Wind, for one) and I watched as many as I could. Even the ones that weren't so good (Kill Bill, for example, with it's great cinematography and soundtrack but niche-oriented storyline & style). I eagerly await The Passion of the Christ coming out soon.

6) Spring is coming - I don't mind the cold but man do I hate (again, metaphorically) snow. Well, maybe not snow itself, but rather removing it after the guy who is supposed to plow the neighborhood drives through doing as little as possible. And it looks like my work schedule will switch so I can have 3 consecutive days off and be home by 6:30 pm the other days.

Maybe later I can think of other bright spots. I'm trying to focus on them to lift my spirits. Writing again was a bright spot so maybe I'll try to do more of it, too. Peace & Prayers.

Um ... November 30th? For those few that read this Blog ... sorry. I'll try to post something today.