Musings in Search of a Muse

Ship of Fools has a great section called The Mystery Worshipper in which various people report on a church service they've attended. My initial impression was that this was likely to be the most irreverent part of a pretty irreverent Web site. After all, this is the site that's looking for the funniest offensive religious joke. Here's an excerpt from a rather literate contributor who answered the question "In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?" reviewing a service at West Point:

The chaplain preached on the words "deliver us from evil," one of a series of sermons on the Lord's Prayer. During World War II, Winston Churchill vividly described the evils of war to the British people, and yet they were willing to shoulder the burden and follow him to victory. As Christians we fight a specific enemy – Satan – who attacks daily. Satan is not that cartoon character with red suit and pitchfork – he is a living being, the captain of evil with a squad of lieutenants to do his bidding. The greatest threat to Satan is the Christian who integrates his beliefs into his everyday life. Our spiritual readiness program must include God's holy armor. Clothed with righteousness we can say, "Be gone, Satan!"

That's a well-written summary of what sounds like a great sermon. Some of the other visitor reports I've read range from being inspirational to 'interesting' -- the quotes implying polite sarcasm, of course. Each report, however, does follow a rubric.

• Denomination:
• The building:
• The neighbourhood:
• The cast:
• What was the name of the service?
• How full was the building?
• Did anyone welcome you personally?
• Was your pew comfortable?
• How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
• What books did the congregation use during the service?
• What musical instruments were played?
• Did anything distract you?
• Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
• Exactly how long was the sermon?
• On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
• In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
• Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
• And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
• What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
• How would you describe the after-service coffee?
• How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
• Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
• What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?

That's good stuff. I think I'll use this list when I shop for churches after my schedule at work changes. It's all the questions I need to have answered without me having to think of them before going off half-cocked.