Musings in Search of a Muse

Sorry, Alice Cooper, but I have to agree with your daughter (granddaughter?) in the Staples office supply store commercial. The lyrics to your song "School's Out" do say that school is out forever in the last chorus:

School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely

But it's a really great concept. Funny and original. Kudos to the advert agency.

From the Incongruous Humor Department:
Comedian Jay London slays me. Yes, that's a trite phrase, but the man is hilarious. He tells jokes in the style of Stephen Wright: a strange man with apparent personality issues who looks at life through eyes not of this world. Tonight he said "I bought some Hot Pockets last night and there was lint in them." As one who regularly consumes that product I was rolling off the couch with laughter.

Some of his other great lines:

• "I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I work in the Beyond department."
• "You may recognize me. I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart."

Cowards!
Iraqi Militants Reportedly Kill 12 Nepali Hostages and proudly posted a video of the event on the Web. First, one of the hostages was decapitated with a knife. "The video then showed a group of hostages lying face down and being shot by a man using an automatic rifle. It then showed bodies splattered with blood and bullet wounds."

Let me emphasize that these hostages -- guest workers in Iraq, not soldiers -- were bound and lying face down when they were slaughtered with more cruelty than livestock. C'mon! These men were from peace-loving Nepal! That country spends less on it's military than some Westerners spend on their houses! The terrorists see Nepal as a threat?!? Cowards. They don't even have the intestinal fortitude of an animal they despise for being unclean, the pig. Nor do they have it's morals or brains.

I'm sorry, Lord, but it's hard to love my fellow man when they are gutless, merciless, willing pawns of Satan. My first instinct was to call them friggin' b*stards, but creatures such as these surely don't have a mother, let alone a father. It's your command to love them, but I don't have to like it.

Song of the Day!

There was a lot of Funk playing in my head today and in the car stereo. Not the George Clinton-type, wild and outrageous in every way. The flavor I lean to is more closely related R&B or Soul; the Curtis Mayfield or Isaac Hayes variety. Maybe that's old school Funk, but I like it for the same reasons I like some pieces more than others: it's unique, but is not trying to be extreme in form or purpose. Maybe that's why I usually don't listen to Hip-Hop or Rap. Though the melodies and rhythms all sound much alike to me thus none should be extreme, most tunes sound as if the artist is trying to shock the listener or like they are trying way too hard to stand out and thus become annoying.

This philosophy is very hard to put into words. It's similar to what keeps a Tall Tale from being an outright lie. Both intentionally deceive in a bid to achieve some sort of gain for at least one of the parties involved. Do you know what the difference is then? Whether one can articulate the nuances that differentiate the two or not, nearly everyone of a mature cognitive level can intuitively understand the difference.

That's how I listen to music. Or to paraphrase a time worn saying, I may not know music, but I listen to what I like.

And I like "Walkie Talkie Man" from Steriogram's album Schmack. You may have heard it on a TV commercial for Apple's iPod. It's Punk-like and Alternative at the same time. Almost as if "Life Is A Rock (But The Radio Rolled Me)" by Reunion was done as Speed Metal. And it could almost as easily be Bubblegum Pop if it weren't for the very strong Rock orchestration and rhythms. But at two-minutes thirteen-seconds there's hardly enough time to classify it so I'll stick with the iTunes label "Rock." Of course, being this short the lyrics don't have much to say, though they do well painting a picture of someone trying to create an impression on others.

"Walkie Talkie Man"'s breaks of slow paced choruses alternating with the frantic, dialogue-like body sections almost create a pregnant pause effect. You know, that spot in some tunes where the singer stops and the band either stops or leans on a single instrument bleating out a monochromatic theme for a few bars. Rare Earth's "I Just Wanna Celebrate" is famous for this break at 2:36 to 2:54 mark with the drummer taking over for a fading synthesizer. Truly a marvelous example of changing the pace and creating a song-within-a-song using the same melody. The Who does the same thing in "Won't Get Fooled Again" when a synthesizer solo is topped of by Rock's best primal scream.

Some songs put this pregnant pause at the head of the piece. "Owner of a Lonely Heart" holds off the instruments until a chorus of voices sound for a bit then break momentarily. A better example is "Seven Bridges Road" by The Eagles from the Eagles Live album. You can hear the tension and excitement build then splash when the guitar starts off. And then they mirror this technique at the end of the track.

Well written and executed music will always win out over shock or novelty and becomes classic even as the flavor-of-the-month wears off. Will "Walkie Talkie Man" be in this group? Maybe not, but it still is good and it is the Song of the Day.

Here's a spot of old news that was recent news to me
Malaysian censors say Passion is only for Christians: "Malaysian censors have passed Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ uncut, but have stipulated that only Christians may see the movie." At first I was a bit upset about this insensitivity, but a story in Asia News reminded me that "Islam forbids the representation of animals and humans, including sacred figures. Its holy book, the Qu’ran, considers Jesus a prophet, not the crucified Son of God, and for this reason does not in principle allow his depiction."

So this ruling was actually a blessing that the government really was sensitive to the needs of all it's citizens. They could have banned the movie completely as they had with others that depicted holy figures. Way to go, Malaysia!

"Wild Thing" by Sam Kinison is destined to be an underground classic. Lots of people love and even revere The Troggs original, but most are likely unfamiliar with this artist's rendition. Apple iTunes puts it in the Comedy genre, probably because of Mr. Kinison's regular profession, stand up philosopher, but his unique style puts a new heart into this Rock standard. Screaming, his trademark, and personalized lyrics put in as asides comfortably compliment the unchanged elements to update the song for the '80s (released in 1988) and beyond. And if you see the video with his then-girlfriend Jessica Hahn ... Whew!

8th Commandment Issue!

One of my co-workers said that his recreation tonight would be to download some movies. When I reminded him that was illegal, he said "It's no worse than music!" To that I replied, "You're right. Both are stealing. And that's an 8th Commandment issue." His next reply surprised me: "Well, we're all going to Hell."

If I had been clever I would have told him "Well, you don't have to. It's a choice." But I'm not clever in live situations. Instead I told him that I wasn't going to Hell. Another co-worker agreed and we all went back to work.

I'm not sure how I'd approach this guy about his faith. He's a very negative person, fond of foul language and lechery. Mostly I just mumble to his comments or say something non-committal that's instantly forgettable. Not that I want to see him -- or anyone -- go to Hell, but it seems that his heart is already hardened.

Of course I face two choices in any situation involving sharing the gospel: I could not share and increase the chances of someone going to Hell or I could share and decrease their chances. Funny, but when I started writing that sentence I intended to state "If I share the gospel poorly I could turn off someone all together or ...." Wonder what -- or who -- told my fingers to type something else? Or do I have to wonder? Thank you, Lord! That's a big help in overcoming my procrastination.

Picking a Song of the Day can be tough. Just like everybody else I tend to listen to recent acquisitions more often than I do older tunes in my library. That often leads to recommending a sequence of tracks from the same album or of the same genre and may seem boring to the readers of this blog.

But since I write mostly to amuse myself and I'm probably the only reader, what the heck. Let's have two this time around! So we have Aretha Franklin's "Think" from The Blues Brothers soundtrack and "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" from the Blues Brothers 2000 soundtrack.

In some ways I like "Think" better than her classic "R-E-S-P-E-C-T." Both are powerful songs not simply because of Miss Franklin's extraordinary talents, but the orchestration and backup vocals in these versions are terrific. The former seems fresher, though. Almost like the latter was included in the movie just because everyone expected it. Or maybe it's because she was younger when it was recorded. Nah! Or maybe it's because the latter is overplayed as her signature piece. Who knows, really. And next week I may change my mind. Let the chips fall where they may when you play the S.O.D. game.

The comic strip Shoe has to be one of the most intelligently funny strips around. Check out the one from today.
(Copyright won't let me post it here.)

From the Even If I Had The Money I Wouldn't Buy This Deparatment: Israel Denies Spying on Ally America: "'We deny carrying out any intelligence activity. It is a strange story,' said a senior Israeli government official, who declined to be identified. 'Israel, for many years, has not carried out intelligence activity in the United States.'"

Uh huh. And the Easter Bunny is Jewish.

Remember, I'm non-partisan. I don't believe, trust, or back either the Palestinians or the Israelis.

My feet are so00o unhappy. This was the first day in about two months that I wore socks and shoes. Oh! The little footsies itch, ache, and smell funny. And they miss their sandals.

Maybe if I promised them new socks ...

Notes from the Field

The List of 7 by Mark Frost (Avon Books 1994) looks pretty good so far. I marvel at his descriptive prose: "Her face was bloodless and as studded with moles as the cloves in an Easter ham."

Going back to reading now before my break is over.

Yippee! Our Lodge's Worshipful Master said we can print our anniversary banquet program in color! The picture in my recent post will be used.

Once again I've probably blown the genre, but I have Joe Nolan's song "Get Behind Me Satan" (from his self-released album, King) in my iTunes library as Christian Blues. I'm also making it the Song of the Day! It's very bluesey in rhythm, lyrics, and arrangements. And the idea behind the lyrics is very Christian. Speaking of lyrics, it has a great line: My silver sword is shining like holy Detroit cold ... Jeepers, that's great! Manly yet poetic. According to his Website "Detroit-native Joe Nolan's sound combines the soul spirit of the Motor City with a poet's ear for the rhythmic beauty of words." Yup, I'd agree.

I haven't heard anything else from Mr. Nolan, though. That was the only song of his I found to download from the old mp3.com site and haven't found anything since. If you can find it, grab it.

I'm not sure if I'd want to be the arranger for Aretha Franklin or not. On the one hand, the job is pretty simple because you know that the only way to back such a powerful voice and personality is with the three B's -- Big, Bold, Brass. On the other hand, it's going to be tough to put some variety into that mix. I'm blessed to have two of her more popular tunes, but I really need to make room for more.

Cary Grant has to be one of the funniest leading men ever. I'm watching the hilarious Father Goose right now, a wonderful example of this talent. And he's handsome to boot. I say that in a manly fashion as I don't swing that way. He's one of those guys who men want to be and women want to be with. Sean Connery and Harrison Ford would likely be on that list.

Angelina Jolie would likely be a woman in this vein. She was ideal in the Tomb Raider movies. Of course I love all women so it's tough to pick others. Ms. Jolie comes to mind right away because I've recently watched some of her movies. Ginger from Chicken Run is also on this list. See -- I love all women. Add Jamie Lee Curtis to put the list on par with the other.

Hey, kids! I just made this picture in hopes that it can be used on the cover of our anniversary banquet program. Probably won't happen as we usually do monochrome printing. Or is that "Masonochromic" printing?

My post on August 20th alluded to the song "Sweet Home Chicago" being distracting and something that I sing loudly. Yup, I just proved that to everyone in traffic with me on my way home from the grocery store. So let's go ahead and make it the Song of the Day! Apple iTunes lists some 25 renditions of this classic with the most popularly downloaded version being from the album Blues Blues Blues by The Jimmy Rogers All Stars. The one I have was ripped from The Blues Brothers soundtrack (not available on iTunes) and features Jake and Elwood Blues (AKA John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd) in one of the most rousing performances from the movie.

A real passion goes into almost every aspect of this song. That's not always unusual, but consider that this version was recorded during the shooting of a movie where many, many takes on a scene can dull a performer's fire. Maybe that problem isn't evident here because Ackroyd and Belushi hail from Chicago so of course they have strong feelings toward the subject. And they had such a strong love for their characters that they actually performed on the road and recorded whole albums.

The Blues Brothers Band performs on this track with equal fervor. The members include such music greats as

Steve Cropper	as	Steve 'The Colonel' Cropper
Donald Dunn	as	Donald 'Duck' Dunn
Willie Hall	as	Willie 'Too Big' Hall
Tom Malone	as	Tom 'Bones' Malone
Lou Marini	as	'Blue Lou' Marini
Matt Murphy	as	Matt 'Guitar' Murphy
Alan Rubin	as	Mr. Fabulous

While it's not a priority, one of my goals is to buy more music from The Blues Brothers. Passion and the Blues go together. Would that we all could exprerience such feelings more often.

Song of the Day: "Hippies on a Corner" by Joe Sample on the Best of Smooth Jazz, Vol. 1 album. This track started me on a serious quest for some really good Jazz. Not that I didn't like the genre previously, but now I have a better understanding of what I like in Jazz: mixed and complicated rhythms, played on a variety of instruments, but most especially the piano. Mr. Sample does this and more in the several tracks that I've collected since though "Hippies" is still my favorite for all these reasons and more. This piece has a simple joy to it, much like "Cast Your Fate to the Wind" by Vince Guaraldi with the passion behind George Winston's "Linus & Lucy." This easily makes it easily fit many moods and situations.

A post of mine a little while ago mentioned "a voice" that I would hear at times trying to distract me or lead me away from the path of righteousness. Today I read (okay, skimmed) an article that mentioned I might not be crazy:

As one author puts it, "Demons cannot live in Christian hearts, but they perch on Christian shoulders and whisper in Christian ears."

Hmmm ...

The same site has lots of nice answers to questions I've had. Maybe that's why it's called ChristianAnswers.Net.

You might have gathered that I'm a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In my fanly mode this morning I was watching a broadcast episode then another one on DVD when I thought What is the actress who portrays Jenny Calendar really like? What other work has she done? So I visited the Internet Movie Database and read about Robia LaMorte. It turns out she has more talents than just good acting to compliment her impressive natural beauty. She's a well-known dancer, too, and worked with the artist-again-known-as-Prince in this capacity. Curious to know more (no, I'm not a stalker) I Googled her and found her Website where I found a great surprise -- Ms. LaMorte is a devout Christian! Awesome! Her testimony on the site is great.

Not surprisingly, she addresses the witchcraft issue with her testimony. No surprise because her character on Buffy is a pagan that practices some witchcraft and I'm sure she thought it necessary to bring it up. The discussion goes on to cover a number of other topics and even gives an extensive reading list. Check it out sometime, even if you aren't a Christian. It will answer some questions for both groups.

"Sliding Into First Base"

We shared a warm patch of light from her car's open door while fidgeting quietly in the large, deserted parking lot and searched for something to say. A reverberating music pulse streamed forth from the car radio in perfect harmony with the idling motor. I was barely 20 years old and this was just my second date ever, so my nerves were like the rubber bands on a wind-up-propeller toy airplane that kids fly. They twisted, knotted and tightened with every turn the ticking clock added. She seemed relaxed. Her tombstone-grey eyes revealed nothing. Sweat? Irregular breathing? None. At least one of us was cool.

She stood casually with her motionless fingers finishing a graceful arc that began as her neck flowed into slender shoulders. Her fragrance was pleasant, but hauntingly familiar. I remembered enjoying the same scent a year earlier during a rather inept attempt to start a relationship with her. That time we were sitting in her old, beat-up Ford Maverick; my big, floppy puppy-dog ears being trampled under my big, bumbling puppy-dog feet as I tried to re-create every romantic line I ever heard in every '40s B-movie I ever saw. "I love you, my darling," I wanted to declare. "I, a uh (ahem), I love, um. I think I, uh, love you, C-Christine," I barely managed to croak. "What in the Hell is that supposed to mean!" she demanded. I had never seen frost form that quickly before.

Her shuffling feet impatiently brought my attention (not unwillingly) back to the patch of warmth we shared and I blushed inwardly at the thought that she might have remembered my car crash as I just had. Whether she did or not, we had found ourselves in this parking lot after my excuse for another date: attending a Governor's Mansion reception and dinner with friends. My mind and body agreed: Holding her close right then would be nice. After that point, well . . . My lips were confused. They were thinking kiss but said, "Christine, thanks for a swell evening," instead. Then they proceeded to turn my head aside in hopes of dragging my numb body along. Too late.

We were almost hugging. I say almost because while our arms were around each other, my hands experimented with new airflow patterns behind her back. My big, bumbling puppy-dog feet had returned and stumbled to complete the turn my lips initiated moments earlier. Panic.

She pressed herself firmly against me and found a hobby exploring the region below my back pockets. Perhaps she was interested in me? When our hasty, awkward embrace ended, I could feel her hot breath caress my neck as our cheeks passed. And we just stood there, silently, with our arms continuing the half-ended hug. I looked hopefully into her tender-grey eyes and found the love I sought there before. Her soft eyelids teased my gaze when she stole a quick glance at my mouth and then closed gently. I felt Christines tug and brought her slowly closer. Our lips spoke to each other in the gentle language. My First Kiss.

Written February 6, 1989

My blog is proof that history is fluid and ever-changing. I just read through the whole thing from the beginning and corrected the spelling and punctuation in a half-dozen posts. Their dates and times could have been changed, too. Plus, a new post can be created with any date back to 1999.

It usually takes me an hour to write a long post or about 20 minutes for a Song of the Day so the time that you see on the post is wrong anyway. My typical post is edited at least twice after reading it again and again.

Good thing this isn't a respected news source. Of course, that's why I added a number of disclaimers to the site today. They should cover just about anything short of my own stupidity. That's a hurdle too high for anything short of divine intervention.

BTW - This comment was added during the 1st edit on this post.

Yup --- two edits. I'm going away now and leave this post in peace. Or pieces. Visualize Whirled Peas!

Post last edited 08/31/04 07:31 pm eastern when I changed That's too high of a hurdle for anything short of divine intervention to That's a hurdle too high for anything short of divine intervention because the new brevity is more nearly correct grammatically and it sounds better. Seeing isn't always believing, I guess, and time is mutable. Now it's up to you to figure out how many times I edited this addendum and what was changed ... or not!

Acappella music is often associated with oldsters and the un-hip, but these guys make music that can be appreciated by anybody. And the song "Coconut" has got to be the best of the lot. It was a great novelty tune to start with and it is actually better without man-made instruments, especially if AC-Rock is doing the work. In fact, their Website mentions that "Originally, AC-Rock was conceived as an act for adults. But we kept hearing that people who loaned our CD to their kids couldn't get it back!" Tracks aren't available on iTunes at this time, but you can download them at Buy.com's music store (protected WMA format) or you can buy their albums at Amazon.com, too.

Now that was disturbing. At the end of a TV advert for a very well known male enhancement product the company's logo is briefly, but intentionally put behind a man's head so it looks like horns are growing out at his temples. Yes, I get the almost clever implication that he's horny, but did anyone in charge figure the other implicit idea? That he's being influenced by Satan?

Maybe I'm inferring too much as I battle with that sin, but he wasn't looking at the woman the advert showed was his wife when certain thoughts crossed his mind.

ABCNEWS.com : Cheney Backs Freedom for Gay Relationships: "'The question that comes up with the issue of marriage is what kind of official sanction or approval is going to be granted by government? Historically, that's been a relationship that has been handled by the states. The states have made that fundamental decision of what constitutes a marriage,' he said."

What bothers me about this is that conservative groups are chiding the vice president. He is not endorsing gay marriage, but rather stating that it is an issue for the states. It wasn't that long ago that conservative was synonymous with states rights. My, how things change. Apparently conservatives are back to the Federalist view from the early days of the United States that a strong central government is essential.

Considering that last post I would be remiss if I didn't make the Song of the Day Bobby McFerrin's "Drive My Car" from the Simple Pleasures album.

Though I'm not entirely sure if this cover of the Beatles original is Jazz or Pop or what, I do know that it's a catchy tune. And like the other works from this remarkable artist all the sounds on the track are his voice or hands (maybe feet, too, but I don't want to imagine further than that). No man-made instruments of any sort. The astonishing vocal abilities of Mr. McFerrin are enough to impress anybody, but his ability to blend poly-rhythmic arrangements that couldn't possibly have been put on sheet music into one complete song is mind boggling.

Just saw another commercial for the new 2005 Dodge Magnum. Cripes. Never thought I'd be afraid to drive a stationwagon. What a beautiful monster it is, though.


Another beautiful machine is the 2005 Chrysler Pacifica. Never thought I'd want a minivan. The styling on this one will ensure that it's a classic in decades to come. Even sitting still it looks like it should get a speeding ticket.

But I'm rather happy with this one:


My girl runs and runs despite the abuse I give her. Maybe because I regularly feed her nasty, twisty back roads as fast as she can eat them up. She's got a sweet back end slide when pumped just right in the curves with a tender touch on her wheel.

Notes from the Field
Now that's weird! One desk away from me is a co-worker named Phaedra. The last person I spoke to on the phone so far is also named Phaedra. Weird. Two desks away from me is a lady named Youthful. Someone I speak with intermittently in our company is named Kachiri. That's also the name of a student that I had when I taught. Makes me wish I had a cool name, but studies have shown (I've heard) that people with unfamiliar, strange, or oddly spelled names tend to be less trusted. Gotta look up that one.

From the "Well, Duhhh!" Department:
Cheney Is a Quiet Force Behind Bush Presidency: "Dick Cheney is one of the most powerful vice presidents in U.S. history, regarded as a driving force behind the Iraq war and the Bush administration's industry-friendly energy policy."

Now if only we could find out who put him there when wonderful candidates like Elizabeth Dole and Colin Powell were available. I'd investigate, but I have to go gas up the car ... brb.

(speaking)
My life was wrapped around the circus. Her name was Lydia. I met her at the world's fair in 1900, marked down from 1940.

Ah, Lydia.

(Singing)
She was the most glorious creature
Under the su-un.
Guiess. DuBarry. Garbo.
Rolled into one.

Oooooooh
Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
And a torso even more so.

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris,
Or Washington crossing the Delaware.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When her muscles start relaxin',
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
oh Lydia the queen of them all!
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
With a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva but with her pajamas on.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trilon.
Over on the West Coast we have Treaure Island.
Here's Najinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.

{whistles}La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
For he went and married Lydia.

I said Lydia
{He said Lydia}
They said Lydia
{We said Lydia}
La La!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is today's Song of the Day: "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" sung by Groucho Marx in the Marx Brothers movie At the Circus (1939).

I first met my Lydia on July 16, 1997 - Her birthday. And I last saw her April 28, 1998 when I buried her. There is many a similar sad day that this tune floats through my head and I think of the times I used to sing variations of it to amuse her. Bittersweet memory, haunting, tenacious. Today, I have my own Lydia tattoo. It's the angel I picked to have carved into her footstone. Her face and laugh are forever carved into my heart. The one and only time she was able to say Daddy! is seared into my memory.

Today's edition of the comic Non Sequitur is well worth a look. Maybe it is trying to indict the current presidential administration, but I think the concept could apply to many administrations and individual politicians in a variety of eras and places. Other than that, it's probably one of the best Left-wing comics. Even a radical Centrist like me enjoys it. Usually much funner than Doonesbury and far less vicious.

Notes from the Field (okay, my desk at work)
The "Tony's Pouches" stuffed sandwiches box confuses me. First it says KEEP FROZEN then it says COOK BEFORE SERVING. Now which should I do? I'm leaning toward the cooking option, actually, because should make them more palatable. Hmmm. Two pouches in a box. That gives me an idea.

On the serious side - The back of the box could be why some of our youth can't read or write well. Check out the mechanics: "Wait for for 2 minutes ... then ... Enjoy! an awesome snack you can make for yourself!"

Just don't read the ingredients label until you finish "the product" (as the box calls it).

"Classical Gas" seems to be something of a one-hit wonder as you hear almost nothing else from Mason Williams, though no charts I've found back this assumption. But it is an essential part of my iTunes playlist of instrumentals, Senza Vocale, and important enough, apparently, to have it's own Website. The first 20 seconds hook you and the next 30-35 seconds drag you up a cliff where the rest of the song blends horns, guitar and other strings with a light treatment on the drums to form what I would call a modern toccata. The guitar arrangement is the one element that clues the listener that this is not a baroque-period original.

Okay, that analysis could be codswallop. I have no musical education so the terms used and their application could be all wrong. But listen to the tune and you'll get my drift. It really is rather good track to get the blood pumping. Too bad it's only 3:08 long and that nothing else on the album compliments it's quality. Maybe this is why Mr. William's work seems to have gotten little attention. I was quite pleased to see it used in Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) during a sequence where the soundtrack needed to convey a sense of controlled urgency. This may not help his other music become more popular, but it many help introduce this wonderful piece to a new generation.

By the way, it's tough to write coherently and edit intelligently while singing "Minnie the Moocher" and "Sweet Home Chicago" as loudly and in as manly a tone as possible. Try it.
Peace & Prayers.

The MSNBC article "Cell phones and kids: Do they mix?" brings up an important issue that cell phone use among children and teens is bringing new problems to family structure and society in general. "'Parents are totally clueless about what kids are doing on cell phones. They are taking pictures, surfing the Web, playing games and MP3s. They are harassing each other, cyberbullying,' says child safety advocate Parry Aftab."

A more important issue, however, is who is responsible. I say it is parents. Too many remember too late who the adult in the relationship is supposed to be. In a society where youth is king (or queen) it's not easy being an older person. One wants to stay hip or with it or whatever the current phrase is uttered today to indicate belongingness to an assumed level of popularity. Old people can't do that. Never could, really. Even my generation -- the tweeners; to young to be baby boomers but too old to be Gen X -- showed a marked decrease in respect for the elder set just as every generation has to some degree. However, it's accelerated in recent decades as our society's values shift around advances in the science such as TV, the Pill, and the Internet. Yes, people said the same thing about radio.

And it will always be said about something innovative, but here's a good example of what I mean about changes in a society's values: In 1977, my freshman year in high school, a girl was shamed out of our class for being pregnant. She never returned and when I met up with her years later she was still stigmatized. In the last couple years I've seen, as a teacher, baby shower presents distributed in school to pregnant students. Oh, the myriad and multiplicity of changes that must have happened in the last decade or so to bring this reversal.

I am not saying that this is wrong and I am not against change. What I am asserting is that change that simply happens is entropy. Our society is in decay because rational change is not planned, implemented, and guided. Our 30-minute problem resolution ideal set by television and our zeal to cram all that is possible to cram into a day that isn't getting any longer (at least perceptibly scientists would point out) has resulted in a selfish, me-first culture with atrophied vision for tomorrow.

Probably the last truly visionary plan (or at least the last this aging mind can recall) was John F. Kennedy's push to land a man on the moon. Not right away, mind you. But in a carefully hurried fashion laid out in clear steps leading to a clear goal. The idea had unbelievable focus and clarity of purpose. It was such a landmark in organization, leadership, and forethought that people today will describe that a project needs an "Apollo-style program" for implementation. But no one does it.

Why not an Apollo-style program for ending famine? How about one for reducing or eliminating dependence on fossil fuels? Certainly people are working on these laudable endeavors. But where's the societal commitment? Where is the can-do spirit that brings about results because it's for the common good and it's the right thing to do? We seemed to have it after September 11, but it's slipped away only to peek out from it's hiding place once and again when a flag goes by or the date appears on the calendar. Maybe the candle that burns twice as bright really does burn twice as fast.

Samuel Clemens, a candle that burned brightly for a long time under his better known pen name of Mark Twain, commented that one "should always do good. It pleases many and surprises the rest." We should be trying to please the many and not the one. Then we might not have clueless parents with no idea of what is going on in their children's lives.

Now for something easier: getting those pesky things back in Pandora's Box.

It's called "Make a Joyful Noise / I Will Not Be Silent" and I wasn't sure I liked it at first. The track lived in my iTunes "Wish List" for a while before I said, What the heck? It's only a buck! But the more I listen to it the better I like it. Of course, it's Christian Alternative Rock so the message really sells. The music is really addictive, though, and that's a large part of it's appeal. It has a great arrangement and a unique spin on the vocals. And it rocks. Not a hard, in-your-face kind of Rock, but a persistent, driving rhythm that has an appealing charm without letting you forget the genre.

At this time I have between 65 and 70 tracks (not counting Holiday music) from various flavors of the Inspirational genre, including Blues, Rock, Alternative, Pop, Jazz, and Gospel related to the three major faiths. All are great (otherwise I wouldn't have bought them, I suppose), but consider that's almost 10% of the music library on my computer and you can see I have a certain preference. Sure, there are a lot of CD tracks that I haven't ripped, but even it weren't for space limitations (both on the laptop and the iPod) I wouldn't have ripped too many more to effect much of an increase in either total tracks or tracks in that genre. So that's a healthy number.

But it has to stop. I was telling someone at work that I have 158 tracks that I bought from iTunes alone in the last ten months. That's like buying an album a month. Maybe not a lot of money, but that's still over $150.00 (buying whole albums decreases the cost as you usually get more than ten tracks for ten bucks)! I try not to consider that there are sixteen more tracks lurking in my Wish List plus six more tracks and two albums on deck in the Shopping Cart. I might have to ask everyone for iTunes gift certificates for Christmas.


But even the not-so-good tracks are worthwhile. "Golden Rust" by Trilok Gurtu & Robert Miles is now playing on the 'Pod and it's not as good as I had hoped it would be. It slinked around the Wish List and then prowled the Shopping Cart for a month before I gave in to the urge. Still, it's good enough depending on my mood and whim at the time. It's terrible -- and expensive, apparently -- to have such diverse aural tastes.

Same with my taste in videos. Today Barnes & Noble delivered The Incredible Adventures of Wallace & Grommit DVD today with my Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 1 DVD boxed set along with Mark Frost's novel The List of 7 (Avon Books, 1994). So I'm off to play with these new toys that were actually free thanks to the reward points on my Yahoo! credit card (shameless plug given gratis). Peace & Prayers!

Yeah, I was at work when I made that last post. And aside from being a very nice person and reasonably pleasant to talk to, she was very, very cuddly looking -- and 20 years old. Sheeesh.

A problem with being 41 years old and single is that most of the women I'm looking at are young enough to be my daughters. If only I would feel or act my age. Too bad they're all so darned cuddly looking.

Words, words, words. All this writing of late has made me once again wonder how many words there are in the English language. One source says about three million with about 200,000 in common usage. Another says there are none if you consider it abstractly.

I'm always on the hunt for new words and I like using as many varied words as possible (admittedly I need work on this, especially with transition words). One professor in my first year at college marked up a paper of mine for the variety and complexity of words commenting "Anyone can write with a thesaurus!" Then he crossed that out and added "Sorry. I didn't look at whose paper it was first." That's funny because in high school I had trouble believing that a writer would be so careful about word choice. This drove my Shakespeare teacher starkers.

One has to adjust language to suit the audience, of course. My teammates at work and I had this discussion recently when they heard me using some Yiddish slang on the phone with a customer. I told them that I always tailor the words I use to the customer because it makes them more comfortable. Then I suggested that this might be one of the reasons customers have such a good experience with me.

We also had a discussion on the Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say on Television. I specifically avoid using them because I want to maintain their impact. The F word, for example, is so powerful that when I use it in conversation people stop. And while I avoid unnecessarily crude humor, I don't mind blue humor if it's situationally appropriate. That, in a nutshell, is the same rule I use for so-called foul language in general. I may be a bit more liberal on this than Bill Cosby's position because I'm from a different generation, but I certainly admire him for taking the stand that he has.

Everybody in the discussion had a word or two that they refuse to say under any circumstance. For me, I'd be really hard pressed to use what is commonly referred to (especially by Caucasians) as the N word. I'm also loath to use any slang describing genitalia.

Regardless of how many words there are in any language (and irregardless is not a word), it's a shame not to use them. Language is both the product of a culture and it's backbone.

Speaking of manly music, Elmer Bernstein, composer of the scores for The Magnificent Seven and The Great Escape, has passed away at age 82. Thanks to Mr. Bernstein these are two of the best movies for men (yeah, yeah, women can enjoy them too) and hearing the themes stirs the blood. If God has anyone composing music for the Tribulation and the Apocalypse, Mr. Bernstein is on the team. God be with you, sir.

Henry Mancini's "Peter Gunn" is today's Song of the Day! It's so good that I have 3 variations of it, two of which are not part of the collection of 33 variations available on iTunes. The latter set includes Alternative, Dance, Jazz, Electronic, Rock, New Age, Pop, and Vocal (yes, vocal) renditions. Talk about a manly man tune! There aren't many like this. It really makes a red-blooded man just pulse. Other examples, but not an inclusive list would include:

• "Rawhide" - Ned Washington and Dimitri Tiomkin
• "James Bond Theme" - Monty Norman
• "Mannish Boy" - the incomparable Muddy Waters
• "Boom Boom" and it's variations - John Lee Hooker
• "Not Fragile" - Bachman-Turner Overdrive
• "Brick House" - The Commodores
• "Oh Yeah" - Yello
• "La Grange" and "A Fool For Your Stockings" - ZZ Top (a truly manly band)
• "Wild Thing" - by anybody, but more especially by Sam Kinison
• "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" - Tomoyasu Hotei used in Kill Bill, Vol. 1, a movie about a female assassin out for revenge, oddly enough.
  
• "No Particular Place to Go" - Chuck Berry
• "The Lumberjack Song" - Monty Python

Sure, women-folk may enjoy manly man music much as I enjoy music from Superchick, a group whose lyrics appeal largely to women, but "the fairer sex" can't get the nuances that only the male culture experiences.

Oh! Sexism! Sexism! ---- Baloney! Like "Goodbye Earl" from the Dixie Chicks and Terri Clark's "Girls Lie Too" don't take sides!? These songs, like the so-called manly man songs I listed above, are geared to experiences and a culture of chiefly one gender and not the other.

This happens in all forms of entertainment. I see the occasional man reading a trashy romance novel but the greater readership is women. The movie Miss Congeniality has greater appeal among women whereas more men watched Saving Private Ryan. On television, Soap Operas are woman-oriented while The X-Files was a male geek-fest.

What am I doing?!? I just realized I was actually trying to settle the debate! Sorry, no. It won't be settled by me. Don't get all stroppy with my for trying. Just form your own opinion and have done with it. Peace & Prayers, friends.

When it rains I play. Sure, I have other things to do, but since I couldn't mow the lawn this morning I was able to change the template for my Blog and learn about some new-to-me features. If it weren't for blogging and iTunes I probably wouldn't have a computer, though: I don't play games; my various jobs don't require me to have a home computer; the resources I use on the Web I can replace with newspapers, magazines, and television; my cell phone is free so I could call people rather than e-mail them; and my book intake has steadily fallen since I first bought a computer (1982 - an 8088 from CompuAdd with monochrome monitor, 20Mb HDD, 5 1/4" floppy, and dot matrix printer for two-grand).

Well, gotta go get the oil changed in the car, drop the monkey suit off at the cleaners, exchange mail with my mailbox, buy some food and run other errands. Sheesh. I'd rather sit around.

Song of the Day: I was tempted to bring up Superchick's "We All Fall" again because of the crash and burn I took today, but I thought it might be better to nominate the same group's "I Belong To You" from the Last One Picked album. The lyrics don't really have anything to do with today's fall, but I certainly needed to apologize and rededicate myself. The Lord gave me plenty of warning and many opportunities to not give into temptation, but I didn't listen.

All of this really hit home when I watched a DVD about street preaching featuring evangelist Ray Comfort from Living Waters. Very nice work. I'm going to incorporate it into a future Bible study session. After watching this if you would like to street preach, read this first. I might have to give it a try sometime, but I'd like to apprentice for a bit first and get to know the Bible really, really well.

Peace & Prayers!

The following headline and story from today's news made me think about the political truism (so far) that no sitting U.S. president has ever been reelected when challenged from within his own party.

Republican Congressman Says Iraq War Was Mistake: "WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Breaking ranks with the White House and his Republican leaders in Congress, Rep. Doug Bereuter of Nebraska has said in a letter to constituents the U.S. military action in Iraq was a mistake."

To date that has meant someone challenging him for the party's nomination. But if this blast isn't an equal challenge, I don't know what is then. I wonder if this counts?

Personally, I agree with Mr. Bereuter. And I will also admit that Iraq was a problem. But there were and are many other more pressing problems in the world today. Like what? Check BBC NEWS | Africa anytime and you'll probably find examples of genocide, famine, political coups, AIDS/HIV run rampant, and dictators. Yes, dictators. I seem to recall Iraq had one of those. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's gone, but American priorities were askew on that call.

I'm not sure that either John Kerry, the Democrat's candidate, or George Bush, the presumed candidate for the Republicans, can get our priorities realigned. No single nation can be the policeman of the world. Certainly that hasn't stopped America in the last 200 plus years, but one day we may learn that truism, too.

According to BBC NEWS Sex spam clogs summer in-boxes: "Pornographic spam has risen by almost 350% since June according to e-mail filter firm Clearswift." The article goes on: "Spammers appear to be purposefully increasing pornographic output during the summer months."

I wonder why spammers exist anyway. I once saw an interview with a spammer and apparently it's a profitable business. But if no one reads spam or buys the products/services then how can it be profitable? Well, it costs me money. I pay for Internet access and e-mail from my ISP and I have to spend my time deleting all the spam. It is my choice to spend this money because I have personal use for Internet access and e-mail. I don't spend it for other people to make a profit. It's not like my USPS mail box which I am required by law to have. None of my income goes to support that so let people send all the spam they want to that.

Of course, I've said all that before in another post. And I sent the same message to my Senator. No results, by the way. And nothing will happen soon, I'm sure. Just gotta keep deletin' away. While you are waiting with me for something to happen with this problem, visit Hormel's Spam and the Internet site to learn why spam is bad and SPAM is tasty. Then go here to get a SPAM letter opener!

Gave the ol' iPod a rest today and didn't listen to any music. But I just finished watching Flash Gordon on DVD so let me nominate "Flash to the Rescue" from the soundtrack album by Queen as the Song of the Day. The whole album is an experience, especially in headphones, as it mixes dialogue from the movie in with the fantastic music. As good as it is, though, I don't know why 3 of the 4 CD versions at Amazon.com are priced over $30.00. On CD the dialogue is rather quiet compared to the vinyl LP (yup, I've got one) but it still makes a great road trip disk as it's like watching the movie without the pictures.

Odd that almost the day after I comment on the adverts above my blog they disappear. Upon investigation I found they were replaced by the Blogger NavBar:

The Blogger NavBar is a navigation bar and toolbar with a form that allows people to search just your weblog using Google's SiteSearch and gives you the ability to check out what's happening on other recently published blogs with one click. This bar replaces the advertisements that used to be displayed at the top of some blogs.

Good thing I used the link on the advert to compliment Google on the adverts before they disappeared.

Update on my post from 08/14: The adverts from the top of my Blog have disappeared entirely. Now there's a link to go to the "next Blog" that takes you to someone else's posts.

The real reason of this post is to let you know that prayers are answered. I had vacuumed the keyboard of my laptop only to find that the /?+ key disappeared. Not knowing any better, I tried to fix it after finding the missing piece in the vac bag. It took me a while to figure out the mechanics of it, though a younger me might have taken less time. But a younger me wouldn't have asked God for patience when the final assembly didn't work. The Lord gave me patience when I asked and the insight to look in the vac bag for any other missing pieces. Well, the final assembly wasn't so final, I guess, as I found a rubber springy part that I needed. Poof! It worked. Praise the Lord, even if it was a little prayer.

I'm not going to ask the Lord for a new laptop, even though one of my first thoughts was Great! Here's an excuse to buy a new laptop! I don't like asking God for anything for myself. He knows my needs and can tell better than I which are things that I genuinely require versus which simply come from desire so I trust that He will grant me those which best suit His plans. The Bible tells us it's okay to pray for ourselves but I still feel selfish doing so.

Being selfish seldom pays. Look at the US men's Olympic basketball team for example. The sports guys at work were talking about the drubbing they got from what was supposed to be an easy team to beat, Puerto Rico. The best comment was that the team is full of hot shots (though not A-list NBA players) but there was only one ball on the court. Didn't they watch the movie Miracle? Unless you are competing in some sort of individual event, then a team will only succeed if everyone works together.

I guess we all have lessons to learn. That's why we have the Bible, God's instruction book to Man.

While I'm watching a bit of Olympic Badminton competition (the Summer Games equivilent of Curling in the Winter Games), I'm smiling about the last post. I sent it from my work e-mail address and Blogger published it right away. Yeah, I knew the feature existed but hadn't used it before.

The post itself is cool, too. One of my Bible study buddies came over last night and during a discussion of some scripture -- John 6:65 "And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father." -- he pointed out coincidence (?) in John 6:66. Note the chapter:verse number as you read it: "From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him."

Isn't that so cool?!? The mark of the beast and the behavior that precedes it. When the mark is given only those who have turned their backs on God will take it. God lives and has a sense of humor. That has to be the best bit of irony ever.

Hey! Look at John 6:66 sometime! Mighty curious, huh?

Ha! I just looked at the last post and the adverts at the top of the page are religiously themed again. Wonder what they'd look like if I wrote on and on and on about . . . nah, not gonna risk it.

Let's see if we can switch it back by talking about the Song of the Day! "Oye Como Va" by Carlos Santana (written by Tito Puente) from the album Santana's Greatest Hits. Listening to this on my way home made me think this has to be one of the greatest Rock songs ever. Driving bass chords pound behind guitar riffs that plaintively wail as if begging to be released. And then they really fly when let loose.

The lyrics lend to the Latin flavor not only because they are in Spanish but they create a rhythm that is definitely not Anglo. Just don't ask me what oye como va -- translated to English as "it hears as it goes" -- means in either language. Maybe I'll ask a native Spaniard I work with.

All I know is that Carlos Santana is a national -- no, an international -- treasure.

French President Jacques Chirac commented during Pope John Paul II's recent visit to
Lourdes, France that his Holiness was "a universal pastor and a man of peace" and said "France and the Holy See are joined in the fight for a world which places Man at the centre of every enterprise." [CNN Saturday, August 14, 2004 Posted: 1:57 PM EDT (1757 GMT)].

So let me get this straight: The Vatican no longer has a God-centric approach? Mind you, I know quite a few people who think Catholics are, to put it politely, off kilter. But to throw out God in favor of Man? I'm certainly hoping that Chirac misspoke, was wrongly soundbitten, or was badly translated. Maybe not, though, because France is working hard to have a very secular society (see these stories from CNN: One, Two, Three). This is the nation which gave us Jeanne d'Arc and penned it's Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen "sous les auspices de l'être suprême" but it looks like it is denying God. Guess they found someone else to surrender to ... Satan.

Olympic Commentary

Where would we be without James Earl Jones? And what did we do before him? His narration of the NBC teaser before the 2004 Olympics opening ceremonies was a powerful reminder of the gifts that God bestows upon us mere humans. It is a two part gift because of what it has helped Mr. Jones accomplish and that it can be shared with the rest of us. Thank you, Lord.

And please extend your blessings, Father, upon the athletes, staff, and visitors to the Summer Olympics this year. Keep them safe, healthy, and happy.

But with all the gum chewing I saw amongst the athletes I'm sure many of them are very, very happy. I'd notice that sort of thing because I don't care much about sports. So here are some other inane observations:

• Sweetest Welcome by the Crowd: Iraq
• Delegation That Looked Most Like a Blend of Greeks & Turks: Cyprus
• Best Comeback After an Absence: Afghanistan (and they have some women as athletes!)
• Coldest Greeting by the Crowd: Iran (and I don't blame them)
• Most Regimented and Unsmiling Delegation: Iran (surprised?)
  
• Most Obvious Omission in Political Commentary: Eritrea
• Delegation I'd Most Like to Spend Time With: Australia, United Kingdom, & Italy (each for different reasons)
• Best Looking Women: Canada
• Best Looking Men: Greece
• Least Good Looking Men: Japan (and, unusually, the women weren't that good looking, either)
  
• Least Good Looking Women: Israel (worse than Japan and Russia)
  
• Most Surprisingly Good Looking Women: Kazakhstan (whooda thunk?)
• Best Host Nation: Greece (by default and by hard work ... nice start to the Games ... it was a nice Welcome Home)
• Coolest Team Costume: Most any nation from South America or Africa
  
• Most Boring Team Costume: Malta (but it was close several times!)
• Delegates Other Than Israel That Looked the Most Jewish: Palestine
  
• Most Confusing Team Costume: Mongolia (cowboy hats & cheesy blazers?)
• Least Surprising Fact: 70% of the South African team is Caucasian
• 2nd Least Surprising Fact: Nearly all camcorders carried by athletes were carried by men
  

Gonna go set the VCR to record the rest of the ceremonies and go to bed. Quick mention of the Song of the Day: "Olympic Fanfare" by Erich Kunzel & The Cincinnati Pops Orchestra on the album The Very Best of Erich Kunzel • Top 20 or "Summon the Heroes" by John Williams from the Summon the Heroes album.

Peace & Prayers

People look at me funny when I mention the Death Trifecta -- the amazing coincidence (or is it) that celebrities die in threes -- but I'm not crazy. Look at this from The University News: "In an astonishing Hollywood death trifecta this week, three legendary comic personalities passed away this week. Billy Wilder, Milton Berle and Dudley Moore died within days of each other, and left the world of television and film a great hole in modern entertainment." And consider these other sources: A conversation at Metafilter; Penda's extensive list; and CityPaper online has a commentary. There are more, too. Just do a Google search on "death trifecta" (with the quotes) and tons of hits show up. Well, 81/3 pages worth really.

Of course, what got me thinking about it again was the passing of Julia Child, chef and television personality, at age 91 years. I have to admit, though, that I don't know if we are in the midst of a trifecta at the moment or if this starts a new one. Musician Rick James recently passed and then after him was actress Fay Wray, all within a couple weeks.

There must be a following for this as I keep coming across so-called "Dead Pools" where people make a game out of which celebrity will die next or in some complex combination of dates and names. Much like in the Clint Eastwood movie with a similar name. The one at DeathList seems to be the most interesting, but even the Howard Stern show follows the game. Maybe not, though. I also learned he's not on the air right now. Shows you how much I listened to him.

Maybe that's a kind of death? Would that count? And does it really matter? Someone somewhere has had to have studied why people keep death trifectas and dead pools. I couldn't follow along that closely, but I have to admit a certain fascination and I enjoy the conversation booster that it becomes in small groups.

Enough of that. I'm off to watch the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics. Peace & Prayers!

The BBC reports > California annuls gay marriages: "California's Supreme Court has annulled about 4,000 gay marriages that took place in San Francisco."

Wonder if they looked at Romans 1:27 when they figured out this one?

And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Let's not fall back on the old "Love the sinner; hate the sin" line. That goes without saying. The Bible, like it or not, is very clear on the issue. Many of the gay people I know are some of the kindest and most wonderful people I know. Unfortunately, sex is going to be their downfall.

Which brings us to NJ Gov. McGreevey Resigns Over Homosexual Affair: "New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, who earlier this year said he opposed gay marriage, announced on Thursday he would resign and admitted to having a homosexual affair." So he's married and he had an affair. That's Commandment Seven. It was homosexual sex which, while not a Commandment-level offense, is against God's will. Now, if he repents and accepts the Lord's forgiveness but no longer partakes in gay sex but still has those feelings ...

Gosh that's a complicated issue. I just wish the Bible had more guidance. It would be too bad to see someone rot in Hell just because they were in love with someone and did what they could to please them. Sure, we can't make an exception. If we did someone else would want an exception. And then someone else would want one. And then .... Well, you see the sin-ergy.

Dante described a Hell that had different rings or levels depending on the sin. Wouldn't it be cool if Heaven had different levels based on "goodness" so we could bring more to the party? Whoa -- bordering on breaking Commandments One and Two with that one.

But interpretation is rampant, it seems. One of my Bible study buddies said that once everyone is in Heaven there is no more marriage, sex, or similar relationships. But the ultra popular Left Behind books by Tim Lahaye and Jerry B. Jenkins discuss the issue several times and led me to believe I'd be reunited with my ex-wife whom I still love and my daughtger. That was something I was going to research today but a pleasant though unexpected nap showed up and then some fine TV watching .... guess I was zonked from all that writing this morning. Maybe I'll stay up late after more TV to look into it. After all, if there's no one special (other than Jesus) to spend eternity with other than everyone I may stop looking (or at least pinning) while I'm here.

On a related note, a crazy idea: We were to wait 2000 years for the second coming. By most all measures it's been that long since the birth of Jesus. What if it's supposed to be 2000 years since the Resurrection? That would be another 33 years since the original assumed date. And if we figure 7 years for the Tribulation then that puts the Rapture (unless you are Catholic) at somewhere around the year 2022 AD. I suppose I can hang out as a single for another 18 years. I'd be 60 and who'd want me anyway? Peace & Prayers! Visualize Whirled Peas!

One of my favorite jokes:

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

What made me think of this just now I don't know. I learned of it when a study was conducted to find the World's Funniest Joke. To save you the suspense, here it is:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

Find out more here and also read the "World's Second Funniest Joke."

"There are three things which are real: God, human folly and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension, so we must do what we can with the third." -- John F. Kennedy

"Feelin' Alright" by Traffic from the Feelin' Alright: The Very Best of Traffic album is the Song of the Day! It's almost as if the chorus has a different melody or rhythm than the rest of the score and this lends an almost hypnotic quality that makes listening to this song very easy. MTV calls the band's style very Jazz-like. I'm not entirely sure what the lyrics mean, though, as they seem to be about two different things. Except for the chorus I don't really listen to lyrics much* anyway. The tune is addictive enough, though, to make it a worthy SOD.

*Good thing, too. Right now "The Calling" (Santana & Eric Clapton from Supernatural) is belting out of iTunes and the few lyrics on that track leave me completely clueless.

One of my Bible study buddies must have been peeking at this Blog and seen a recent post. He sent me a couple Websites regarding Masonry and religion and asked be to comment on them.

http://www.masonicinfo.com/bloody.htm

Bloody oaths: In this article (which is dead on and that's one of the reasons I frequently recommend that Website to people) when you see the word allegorical you can also assume the word symbolic applies. Any penalties mentioned in Masonic ritual are symbolic in nature. They take on qualities of the Masonic mythology that the fraternity dates to the time of King Solomon (there is little concrete proof that it does) and thus represent penalties that might have been in force at that time to illustrate how seriously a Freemason is about the bond they are forming.

Many of our forefathers had problems with swearing oaths (think Quakers) much as people in current times (Richard Nixon was a Quaker) and simply promised or affirmed rather than swearing to do something. During initiation and advancement to other degrees the candidate simply promises to do something related to fraternal loyalty and binds themselves by a symbolic penalty. Since a man must be of good character recommended by other men of good character this simply amounts to one man taking another's word. Much as the U.S. dollar is backed by the full faith and credit of the government (not gold as some still believe), a Mason's word is backed by his character and promise of fidelity, not some foolish notion that blood will be spilled. As the article mentions, the only true penalties are suspension, expulsion, or reprimand.

Listening to the penalties as I was taking my obligations I thought they sounded a little silly. A few years later when I was administering an obligation the candidate chuckled a bit. Later he admitted it sounded funny but he agreed that in context it well illustrated the gravity of the promise. With that out of the way there is still the issue of oaths before God. To be a Freemason you must believe in a supreme being. ONE supreme being. That means you can be Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. And in each of these faiths, as the descendants of Abraham who was blessed by the One True God, a broken Masonic promise is rewarded with penalties worse than mere symbolic ones because both the 3rd Commandment (misusing God's name) and the 9th Commandment (bearing false witness) are broken.

http://contenderministries.org/freemason/theology.php

After reading this Website I found that the views expressed were classic strawman arguments - there was no substance, merely interpretation by the less well-informed.

"All non-Masons are in spiritual darkness and can arrive at the light of truth only through Masonry." For a Freemason light is truth, just as in the Bible (the Koran and the Talmud, too). A non-Mason is not familiar with the workings of Freemasonry and therefore is in darkness. When a man receives the 1st Degree he is brought from darkness to true Masonic light and made a brother of the Craft where he can then learn about the truths of Freemasonry. And to be honest, the only real truth is that the ritual illustrates the character and commitment a Mason possesses. The goal of Freemasonry is to take a good man and make him better by fellowship with other men of high and ennobling character.

"Light is obtainable only through Masonry because Masonry is of divine origin and, as such, is the true religion." No, Freemasonry is not a religion. To cite the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania's position on religion:

"Freemasonry is not a religion, nor is it a substitute for religion. It requires of its members belief in God as part of the obligation of every responsible adult, but advocates no sectarian faith or practice. Masonic ceremonies include prayers, both traditional and extempore, to reaffirm each individual's dependence on God and to seek divine guidance. Freemasonry is open to men of any faith, but religion may not be discussed at Masonic meetings."

Similar statements are expressed by Lodges around the world, such as the Grand Lodge of England and those in Israel. As to the source (Liturgy of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry for the Southern Jurisdiction of the United States) quoted by Contender Ministries stating that Freemasonry is a religion, I'd have to see it in context, but I sincerely believe that it is wrong. I do know that the author of Liturgy, Albert Pike, is seen by many Masons as being completely atypical. His books were little published and not at all accepted by Freemasons. For the most part, anti-Masons pay more attention to Pike than do Masons.

"The Bible is affirmed, and even revered, by Masons, but not as the infallible and inerrant Holy Word of God. Scripture is nothing more than a symbol of the will of God. It is no more divine or inspired than any other 'holy' book of other religions." Freemasons come from many different religious, economic, social, and cultural backgrounds. That is why a lodge may use whichever "bible" best suits it's members. Masons don't gather for religious reasons and it is not a religion. The material that Contender cites is equivocal. Their interpretation shows that if research is done with a goal in mind or an unconscious bias then the results will be skewed. As a Mason I know that the Bible is that inimitable gift from God to man, a rule of our faith and a guide to our actions.

"The Bible is not to be taken literally. Its contents are not divine." The source cited to back this statement is an older text that cannot be taken as a primary source. And though it is already an interpretation of primary sources, it is rather scholarly and respected. But what is really states is that one does not need to be a Christian to be a Mason. Remember the rule: A candidate for Freemasonry must be monotheistic.

"The degrees of Masonry are a new birth, bringing man from darkness into light. The Mason is reborn into divine truth through rituals, ceremonies and words." Let me again remind you that Masonic ritual is allegorical. Stories are used to relate concepts. This is a common teaching method and is far more efficient than using the Socratic Method or other approaches. At one point the allegory does have to do rebirth.

"Jesus is just one of many." Once more Contender quotes Pike and sets up another strawman argument because the source is of poor repute. Freemasons don't talk about religion and the fraternity is open to members of all monotheistic faiths. The fact that my Lodge has a Jewish member doesn't make Freemasonry anti-Christian. Just because Muslims believe Jesus was a prophet and no more doesn't make Freemasonry anti-Christian because a Muslim can be a Mason. In fact, there is no single group more anti-Masonic than Muslims in general.

"Jesus was not God. Belief in Jesus as God is a manmade doctrine" and "The 'Christ' is not a title reserved for Jesus. 'Christ' is a higher consciousness that resides in all men. It can be achieved through Masonry" and "Salvation is obtained apart from Christ through good works alone." Again, Contender tends to interpret a source in a pre-disposed fashion. The source quoted is looking at the history of Christianity, not the history of Freemasonry. Just as in Bible study we look at Bible verses in context for clearer understanding, any research material needs to be placed in context. Much like the soundbite has shaped American politics, selective research can be used to justify any position.

"Part of the Masonic plan of salvation includes the ultimate realization that we are not only basically good, but divine." The first source Contender cites is again taken out of context and the second source is trying to explain Pike's work, not justify it.

"Masonry promises its members that if they pursue obedience to the Lodge and good works, they will dwell with the B.A.O.T.U. for eternity." I will have to ask around, but neither my experience nor my research shows what or who a B.A.O.T.U. is. The goal of Freemasonry is to make a good man a better man not to promise any sort of eternal life.

"It has been asserted that Freemasonry is racist in that blacks are not allowed to join. Because those of African descent are barred from Freemasonry, such persons have established their own Lodges, known as Prince Hall Masonry. Many white Masons do not recognize black Masonry as legitimate." Blacks are allowed to join any Masonic lodge. That many Lodge members are older and prefer blacks not to join is a separate issue. The African-American Freemasons I've met have a preference for the Prince Hall Lodge because of the community work that it's members perform. There was a time when blacks were not allowed to join a lodge but that was at a time when men debated whether blacks were human or not. The Prince Hall Lodges were setup at the time and sheer inertia has kept the segregation alive. The issue I contend with is that former slaves cannot be members. One must be freeborn, of mature age, and under the tongue of good Masonic report. This rules out one of my roommates at college. He's old enough, certainly. And his character is exemplary. But he was born a slave in Uganda before coming to the United States.